Being Queer in 2025: Survive and Thrive
Written by Angel Sumka RCC CCC, MACP. Angel is a potty-mouthed, queer, neurodivergent, learning disabled counsellor in BC Canada
As a counsellor, I have supported dozens of people just this week who are struggling under the weight of being queer while the USA elects the overly bigotted orange man (Trump); the hateful things spewed in Canada by the upside down flag protesters in Canada, and the upcoming election and fear around PP getting elected. To make matters worse, we are being targeted in media (news, social media) with fear-mongering rhetoric and highlights that focus on how dangerous the world is for us.
As an older queer person I hope I can provide you some tips for building your resistance to the current political movement-because surviving and thriving are the roots of resisting, and you have the fucking right to thrive. I need to be brutally honest with you: This shit is not easily done; there will be shitty days regardless of how hard you work at this; and it is absolutely, completely worth it. So let’s dig in to the Survive and Thrive Queer Guilde™.
Step 1: BUILD COMMUNITY
Join groups, build groups. Find your people online, in your community, globally, and locally. I know it is hard, but RETURN those texts and calls. Reach out to those you were close to that you have withdrawn from (we all tend to isolate in these situations, and we need to recognize this as a sign that we actually need MORE connection). Strengthen the groups you are in. Encourage and participate in supporting one another in meaningful ways. Our capatlist society has taught us to cling to our resources-and that mindset is very much a tool of the kyriarchy/patriarchy. We need to keep each other thriving. This community needs to be focused on caring and building, not just the despair and fear. We hold each other up, because fuck the patriarchy, we will not be held down. This political crap is designed to isolate us, make us fight ourselves and one another. Don’t allow it. Yes, this is hard, but it is necessary. We need community right now, and we need to be patient and compassionate with the communities we have. We are all fucked up, flawed, and hurting. We have to be able to care for one another, even as we are struggling to be the best representations of ourselves under all this stress. So check on people, reach out, help build communities that are about holding each other up. ASK for help, encourage others to ask for help. Show up with love, accept love from others.
Step 2: ANTI-BIAS
Be wary of any us and them thinking you have regarding other marginalized groups and intersections of oppression in the queer community itself. Not all queer folk are being impacted equally because this is not really about us being queer; it is about oppressing anyone who is not holding all the power. So me, as a white queer person with a decent income is experiencing oppression differently than a queer Indigenous person, or a white, upper-class gay man. We need to check ourselves for biases too and ensure we are not clawing our way out by shoving others down.
Step 3: ACTIVISM and RESISTANCE
I cannot stress this enough-get involved. Write letters, and protest if you are able. Most importantly, resist. Resist the urge to give up, resist the urge to isolate. Resist the urge to crumble. Actively resisting is to foster psychological strength. Be ungovernable. Do not follow rules, policies, laws that are racist, abelist etc. Do not shut up, do not keep sweet. When we refuse to accept oppression, we resist, and that resistance is where we thrive.
Step 4: LIVE WITH JOY
This is incredibly hard when being besieged, so grab every single damn moment of joy you can. Paint with abandon, Sing, dance and love. Laugh freely. Walk in the rain. Capture every single moment, and actively seek out joy. Create something, be vulnerable, build connections, cry with others, but laugh with them too.
I warned you-none of this is easy, it all will take an incredible amount of effort, but it also leads to thriving. Resistance is not just about who ends up surviving all this carp-it is about refusing to let evil people take your joy.
I love you so much
Angel