As you embark on your healing journey through counselling, you may find that exploring your family history can reveal important insights into your current emotional and relational experiences. One powerful tool that therapists often use to help clients gain a deeper understanding of their family background is a genogram. This tool is more than just a family tree—it’s a visual representation of your family relationships, history, and significant events that can provide valuable information to support your healing and personal growth.

In this article, we’ll explore what a genogram is, how it can help you, and how it can be an essential part of your counseling process.

What Is a Genogram?

A genogram is a graphic tool that looks like a family tree but goes deeper than basic names and dates. It shows not only who is related to whom but also highlights important aspects of family dynamics, emotional connections, and behavioral patterns. A genogram typically includes the following:

• Basic family structure: Names, ages, dates of birth, marriage, divorce, and death.
• Family relationships: The nature of relationships between family members, such as close, distant, or conflicted.
• Health and mental health history: Information about physical or mental health conditions, such as depression, addiction, or chronic illness.
• Behavioral patterns: Recurrent behaviors or issues that affect multiple generations, like substance abuse, communication problems, or patterns of abuse.
• Significant life events: Events such as traumatic incidents, losses, or major life transitions that shaped family dynamics.

A genogram allows you and your therapist to map out not just facts, but also the emotional patterns and stories that have shaped your family over time.

How a Genogram Can Help

1. Uncovering Hidden Family Patterns One of the most powerful aspects of a genogram is its ability to reveal intergenerational patterns—behaviors, emotions, or dynamics that have been passed down from one generation to the next. You may notice, for example, that mental health struggles or addiction have appeared in multiple generations, or that certain family members tend to be distant or conflict-ridden. Recognizing these patterns can help you understand how past family experiences might be affecting your current thoughts, emotions, and relationships. By identifying these patterns, you can begin to make choices that break the cycle and foster healthier ways of living.
2. Understanding Family Roles Families often have established roles that individuals play, such as the caretaker, the rebel, the peacemaker, or the scapegoat. These roles can have a significant impact on your self-identity and emotional well-being. For example, if you’ve always been seen as the family caregiver, you might struggle with setting boundaries or prioritizing your own needs. A genogram can help you identify the roles you’ve inherited in your family and offer an opportunity to reflect on whether they are still positively serving you. This insight can empower you to challenge old patterns and redefine your role more healthily.
3. Clarifying Emotional Connections A genogram can provide a clearer understanding of the emotional bonds you have with different family members. You may realize that certain relationships are based on unhealthy patterns, such as enmeshment, emotional dependency, or unresolved conflict. Alternatively, you might uncover family ties that are loving and supportive. By seeing these emotional dynamics mapped out visually, you and your therapist can explore how they have shaped your own emotional experiences and work toward creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships, both with your family and others.
4. Identifying Sources of Trauma or Pain. Many people carry unresolved trauma or pain related to their family history. A genogram can highlight these sources of distress by showing where abuse, neglect, addiction, or other traumatic events may have affected multiple generations. Identifying these issues is the first step toward healing. A genogram can provide a safe space to acknowledge the hurt and pain passed down in your family, making it easier for you to process those emotions in therapy and find ways to heal.
5. Understanding Family Health History If you are dealing with chronic illness, mental health issues, or other health concerns, a genogram can help you better understand your family health history. For example, you may notice a pattern of mental health conditions like depression or anxiety running through your family, which can inform your understanding of your own struggles and help you approach them in a more compassionate and informed way. Additionally, understanding your health history can empower you to take proactive steps for your well-being, knowing the risks or challenges that may arise.
6. Improving Communication Communication is at the heart of many family dynamics, and a genogram can help you pinpoint areas where communication has broken down or where misunderstandings have occurred. By visually mapping out family relationships and the patterns of interaction, you may realize how poor communication or long-standing conflicts have shaped your relationships. With this insight, you can work on improving communication within your family or with others in your life, creating healthier ways of connecting and resolving conflict.
7. Fostering Self-Awareness: A genogram provides a unique opportunity for self-reflection. As you explore your family history, you may begin to notice how your experiences and family relationships have influenced your own identity, choices, and emotional patterns. This awareness is key to the healing process, as it helps you understand how your past has shaped you and empowers you to make intentional changes moving forward.

How I (or another therapist) can use a genogram in session:

In session we can discuss key family members, major events and patterns that became evident for you when doing this activity. Together we can explore how these patterns shaped your behaviours, and begin the process of identifying ”inherited behaviours” and behaviours formed by your values. After reviewing the genogram and reflecting on its meaning we can then identify the goals for healing that are most meaningful to you. We can also use the genogram to monitor progress, as over time relationships, family dynamics and patters may shift.

A genogram is a powerful tool that can help you better understand your family history, relationships, and emotional patterns. By exploring these aspects of your past, you can gain valuable insights into how they are influencing your present life. In the context of counseling, a genogram can support your healing journey by uncovering hidden patterns, identifying areas for growth, and empowering you to make positive changes. Working with a therapist to create and explore your genogram can be a transformative step toward emotional well-being and healthier relationships.

I use a tool from wondershare, called Edraw Max to make genograms. You can also use google draw, canva etc-or (My favorite) use a poster board, markers and a ruler.

I love this example of a genogram. I saw it on venngage.com, on several Instagram accounts, and on tiktok: